You can already buy Paul's Pies in a number of shops but to date these have mainly been independent stores such as farm shops. In the latest exciting development you can now find Paul's Pies in select Asda stores, they have hit the big time! Naturally I was hugely excited by this (they have scored very well previously) and so rushed down to my local Asda in Gloucester to see if they were stocking them. I was not convinced that they would be, but to my delight, this is the sight that greeted me....

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After the Pierateers had to confirm that they are not responsible for "The Pies" motorway graffiti  it seems that graffiti artists may be now trying to send a message to the Pierateers themselves. The graffiti "PIE PIGS" has emerged near to SJL's workplace in Gloucester. For us, it seems too much of a coincidence to dismiss, after all, we are well known for eating a lot of pies. If you have any information please let us know.



Whatever the cause, many have stated that they like the graffiti and it reassures them that they are in the Northern pie heartlands.

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At £2, this is fairly cheap for a regular sized 1-person pie. Of course, it's by no means the cheapest (the £1 pie is not uncommon), but then again it doesn't cost £3+ like the likes of Pieminister or Higgidy.


After some time in the oven, the puff pastry lid is a nice golden brown colour.

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At £1.79 for two, these mycoprotein pies are rather expensive. You can see that the pie is rather small - similar in size to a mini pork pie that one could usually buy cheaper. The pie does at least look similar to a pork pie, with water crust pastry and the crimping round the top.


On slicing open the pie, however, I note some terrible crimes against pork pies around the world. Having been a judge in the pork pie category at this year's British Pie Awards, I feel somewhat qualified to make some observations about the contents of this 'pork pie'. First of all, there's a complete lack of jelly. There wasn't even an attempt at vegetarian jelly. The pie was just completely devoid of this essential pork pie ingredient. This made the filling and pastry dry. Secondly, there was a lot of air in this pie. The filling didn't even reach all the way to the sides of pie, let alone to the lid.


Just look at this close up cross-sectional view of the filling, and note how deplorably underfilled this pie is.

In my opinion, the filling also tasted nothing like a pork pie. It wasn't unpleasant, but then it wasn't very tasty either. The pastry was okay, but a bit bland and overly crisp, almost like stale bread (it seemed to lack the fatty-ness of a traditional pork pie pastry).

All in all, I felt this pie lacked the richness and deliciousness that a pork pie embodies. This was an underfilled, bland, stale-bready affair rather than a rich, succulent, herby pork pie. It lacked pretty much everything I like in a pork pie, and personally I can't recommend these pies.

Quorn Pork Pie Review
Score: 2.1/7
TJP

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Here's where we keep track of everything that's happened over the past week in the world of pies. And wow, what a week. Never a dull moment!

Mystery of the missing pies

There's a mystery brewing at Whitley Bay Football Club, near Newcastle, as half-time pies have inexplicably disappeared from the menu. As the News Guardian reports, the disappearance of the pies is a "major and seismic catastrophe" since meat pie doused with tomato sauce and a hot Bovril are "essential half-time supports." The author calls for a return of the pies, warning that a failure to restore supply might mean Whitley Bay FC "never make Wembley again."

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Something super special next week

There might be something super special happening next week to do with Pierate. We're keeping it a bit under wraps because, frankly, we can't quite believe it's happening ourselves and we don't want to jinx it. I can say though that we've been working extremely hard on Pierate over the past 5 years (believe it or not, eating and reviewing over 440 pies is actually quite a lot of work, especially when it's just a hobby!), so if next week does materialise then we can truly say the effort has all been worth it. Stay tuned!

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Pie Tweet of the Week!

Thanks for the triathlon pie @Walkerspies does this mean we have to eat it, in 3 sittings? We'd prefer just 1. pic.twitter.com/sULfAATq2M
— Jonathan Brownlee (@jonny_brownlee) October 2, 2014

There's not a lot more to add to that, really! But it does mean the Brownlee Brothers have made it into our "Celebrity Pie Quest" article, alongside Barack Obama and many others!

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Mince pies hit the shops


It's apparently that time of year again. The Daily Mail reports that mince pies have hit the shelves of Co-op with 12 weeks still to go before Christmas and we've spotted them in a number of other stores! Is it too early for mince pies, do you think? Is it ever too early? Make sure you click to see all of our mince pie rankings. We'll be doing more mince pie reviews this year, but to whet your appetite why not watch our "12 Pies of Christmas" music video from last year?!

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Pie rating is difficult work

Just in case you thought pie reviewing was an easy task, here's an article in the Burlington Free Press explaining why it's so difficult! And the Bristol Harvest Festival only rated their apple pies on 3 categories - now imagine rating multiple different types of pie across 7 categories! ;)

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Buy British Day and World Smile Day

Today, Friday 3rd October, is both Buy British Day AND World Smile Day! Of course, what could make you smile more than eating a delicious pie?! And pies are so brilliant that we need a whole British Pie WEEK!

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If you have a story you think would be good to feature in next week's Pieday Friday, send us an email at pierateship@yahoo.co.uk or contact us on Twitter @pierateers Follow @pierateers

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The etymology of  the phrase“to eat humble pie” is very interesting. The phrase comes from either the 14th Century “numble pie” or the 15th Century “umble pie”. These were pies that were eaten by the poorer classes, and contained various miscellaneous animal parts like intestines. "Umble" itself comes from the French word "nombles", referring to deer innards.

The word ‘humble’ is in fact of Latin origin and has a different etymology to ‘umble’ – it is pure coincidence that the two words sound similar.

wikimedia

Umble pie is recorded in the diary of Samuel Pepys wrote about, who declared on 8th July 1663 that: “Mrs Turner came in and did bring us an umble-pie hot out of her oven, extraordinarily good.”

For more pie etymology and fun pie facts, see our ultimate guide to pies!

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And what a week it has been. All you pie lovers out there have been extremely busy, and we've loved keeping track of everything that's been happening in the world of pies this week.

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Some of our favourite tweets from the week Follow @pierateers

Morrisons called us the "best pie blog ever"! What an accolade from a supermarket that really know their pies!

@pierateers Ahoy thar, matey! We're finally made it... th' best pie blog ever :) #TalkLikeAPirateDay
— Morrisons (@Morrisons) September 19, 2014

We had a few more recommendations, including this one that warns us that "life may never be the same" after trying this pie. Wow, that's got to be good!! Definitely will have to give that a go!

Oh @pierateers you need to be trying an @AllAboutPies pie. Life may never be the same afterwards.
— honest (@byhartnell) September 20, 2014

We got musical and headed to Pie and Vinyl in Portsmouth - and our anonymity got busted!!

A guy came in to @PieandVinyl from a website called @pierateers Great name! Also... For the record, we enjoyed it a lot.
— Gill -Pigling- Bland (@gillbla) September 20, 2014

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All 'ale the Beverley pie

We read with rumbling tummies that the Beverley Real Ale Festival will be hosting the premiere of some ale-inspired pies. According to the Hull Daily Mail, the festival's organisers are keen for more a "foodie feel" at this year's event which runs October 3rd-5th. Luckily for us pie lovers, this means more pies! Andrew Jones Pies and Great Newsome Brewery have teamed up to make two new pies, with Frothingham Best and Sleck Dust ales featuring in the filling. According to the Hull Daily Mail, James Harper, organiser of the third annual ale festival, said:

"Having a pint of ale in one hand and a pie in the other is a match made in heaven."

 We couldn't agree more! I'll have to check the diary!

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Pierate Celebrate 'Talk Like A Pirate Day'

Keen to celebrate our pirate-themed roots, we got out the bunting and thoroughly enjoyed International Talk Like A Pirate/Pierate Day on Friday 19th September. Arrrrrrr!

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Worst Pies in London


We may have reviewed some of the best pies in London (and best pies in London restaurants), but we've never gone on the hunt for the worst pies in London. But it turns out we don't need to look any further than New York for some of London's worst pies. Yes, Emma Thompson is starring in Sweeney Todd, and playing the role of Mrs. Lovett she describes why her pies are the worst in all of London. Do they contain cat meat? Are they greasy and gritty? Ermmm, I think I'll pass, thanks...You can watch the video at BBC America.

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Another Celebrity Pie Lover

We've found a new self-confessed celebrity pie lover to add to our list! It's none other than TV and radio present Vernon Kay, who professed his love for meat pies in the Express newspaper. Apparently they're one of the 5 things he can't live without! I know where you're coming from, Vernon!

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Award-winning 'pie chutney'

Apparently the "world's first pie-dedicated chutney", Pieminister's No. 10 Pie Chutney picked up a gold award at the 2014 Great Taste Awards. Forget about No. 10 Downing Street, I want this No. 10 downin' my stomach! (with a pie too, preferably)
Image: Pieminister

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If you have a story you think would be good to feature in next week's Pieday Friday, send us an email at pierateship@yahoo.co.uk or contact us on Twitter @pierateers Follow @pierateers

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The Real Thai-Pie Company - Pie Reviews

We have eaten a lot of unusual pies in our time sailing the 7 Cs so you would think it might be difficult for us to find something completely new in the pie market. It is even harder for a pie company to come up with something a bit different that still gets a double thumbs up from us in the form of a 'Pierate Highly Recommended' award. Most of the Highly Recommended pies in our pie rankings are traditional British favourites albeit that some of them provide interesting twists to the theme. Okay, there are the stray crocodile or ostrich pies included but these are the exception. Hence I was delighted to find that the pies from The Real Thai-Pie Company not only do something completely new by combining Thai and British cuisine, but they are also REALLY GOOD!


The Thai-Pie company was set up in 2012 when the owners combined their love of Thai food with a family background of running a bakery in the North of England. Up for review are the five flavours of pie available from the Thai-Pie Company. I cooked some from frozen and some after they had defrosted, I would say that the pastry was best when cooked from frozen. They all had some features in common, such as a wonderful buttery pastry. I felt that this pastry showed that they have family experience making traditional pies. It had just the right balance of crunchiness and softness. It was quite thin but still held together well. Overall this meant the pies had a near perfect pastry to filling ratio. I will score all the pies the same for Condition, Colour, Capacity and Cheapness. The scores break down as follows;

Condition – 5.9 out of 7 – They were well presented with pastry shapes such as an elephant or a star to mark the flavour. They had a simple but pleasing appearance. Despite arriving in the post they held together well, probably because they were frozen.
Colour – 5.8 out of 7 – Quite a gradient of golden brown tones across the pie, a bit pale in places, the best colour seemed to come from cooking from frozen. Some of the fillings were of slightly more appealing colours than others but not enough to adjust the scores.
Cheapness – 5.2 out of 7 – The pies retail at £2.00 online (or cheaper if you buy in bulk) and £2.50 if brought from the Thai-Pie stall during an event. At around £2 I thought these pies were good value for something a bit different from a small company. These are quality products. However it is worth noting that they are quite small, only 200g.

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Portsmouth Football Club/Phat Pasty Co Pie Review

As a Wycombe fan it is great to see that Gareth Ainsworth's changes have created a team which is performing much better so far this season (after only avoiding relegation on goal difference). I hadn't been to a match yet this season so decided to take myself down to the Portsmouth-Wycombe game to see if the team were playing as well as results suggested. It was a ground that I hadn't been too before. I was keen to see the old stadium and sample the famously loud atmosphere at Fratton Park. Also, I found out that the pies were supplied by the Phat Pasty Co., a relatively new company who haven't yet been added to our Football Pie League which is dubbed the 'PIEremiership'. How could I resist?


Firstly, the match. It was great to see Wycombe playing some attractive football even though they were away. There were too many hopeful, long balls last time out. The defence has completely changed and felt much more solid. It was also great to see Wycombe pressing the Pompey players all over the pitch. Going forward Wycombe seemed to create chances easily in the opening half and dominated the game. They attacked with pace and really should have taken the lead but it was only early on in the second half that Sam Wood scored after good work from Paul Hayes. After that Wycombe seemed to sit back a bit too much, or perhaps tired after an energetic performance. Portmouth began to dominate and eventually scored what felt like a bit of a soft goal from a corner (but watching it on TV it was a great finish). By full time I was happy to take a point as it ended 1-1. I left happy that Wycombe at least looked like they shouldn't struggle this season.

The famously loud Portsmouth fans were really quite quiet for most of the game (despite the amazing attendance of 16,171). They only came alive after they scored with an intimidating chant of 'Who Are Ya?' direct at the Wycombe fans. It seemed like most of the Pompey fans participated in this with thousands of pointing fingers directed at us in the away end. There was also one loud rendition of the Pompey Chimes. Strangely there seemed to be a 'children's stand'; part of the stand which contained the Wycombe fans also contained a mass of children. Their solo rendition of 'Who Are Ya?' directed at the Wycombe fans was met with much amusement and jovial comments of 'Come back when you're older' from some in the away end. They were only separated from us by a thin cordon so they must have been confident the Wycombe fans would be well behaved (or perhaps the children were seen as 'expendable'). Another incident of note saw one Wycombe fan was escorted out after winding up a steward by not giving the ball back. There was also a bit of abuse between the fans as the Wycombe fans queued to get out. This was a shame to see and I don't know who started it. I think it was only because the fans knew they were physically separated from each other by some wire mesh so could throw abuse without fear of a fight.


Now what about the pie? Well, perhaps there is a reason I have focused on the entertaining match, the pie was really disappointing. I went for the Chicken Balti, there was only this or the steak and potato as the other options were pasties, not too surprising given the company's name. Anyway, two options of pie is not too bad at a football ground. The main reason it was disappointing is that it seemed like it hadn't been cooked properly, the pastry was really dry but at the same time tasted a bit undercooked. It was quiet soft and doughy. The filling wasn't too bad in some ways but the pastry did ruin it. I did eat the whole pie but didn't really enjoy it. I will have to try one of these pies somewhere else to see if Portsmouth's caterers had not done it justice. See the score breakdown below.

Condition – 2.8 out of 7 – A bit cracked around the top, a bit mis-shapen, looked like it had been squashed slightly. Nothing special otherwise about the appearance other than some writing printed into the pastry.

Colour – 3.2 out of 7 – Some golden brown in places but I thought it was a bit too pale generally.

Cheapness – 3.1 out of 7 – At £3 this was slightly above average for League Two, but not unusual.

Capacity – 4.5 out of 7 – Quite a large capacity because this was a tall pie. A small airgap considering the size, overall a well filled pie although quite a bit of it was sauce. It is also worth noting it was fairly big, around 250g.

Chewiness – 1.5 out of 7 – Disasterous texture to this pie, as I have said, it seemed like it hadn't been cooked properly but instead left on a low heat for a long time which had dried it out. The pastry tasted a bit like bread and at times I felt like I was eating raw flour. The pastry was also much too thick in places as shown in the pictures above. On the plus side, the filling wasn't chewy at all, the small pieces of chicken had a decent texture but not enough to help the score significantly.

Content – 3.0 out of 7 – The content was okay, there was a bit of chicken, but not much. I liked that there was a bit of variety to the filling which included onion and some other stuff (I can't be entirely sure what it was). The flavour was also okay, it wasn't hot at all but mildly spiced and it tasted slightly sweet. There wasn't much chicken but what there was seemed decent.

Consistency – 2.1 out of 7 – An awful consistency, in addition to the soft dry pastry, the sauce was too thick in my opinion, as you can see from the picture it didn't ooze out all. It is good in some ways for a football pie to have thick sauce to avoid a mess but in this case it meant the whole thing was really stodgy. I made myself finish the pie but afterwards it sat really heavy and I wished I hadn't eaten it all. I am sorry to say that it didn't really work as a package.

Chicken Balti (Portsmouth FC/Phat Pasty Co)
2.89/7

SJL

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Ahoy there, me hearties! For those who are unaware, today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Yes, that really does exist! No, I am really not making this up!

For inspiration you can follow the hashtag #TalkLikeAPirateDay on Twitter and find out who's getting involved. Take for example Morrisons, who are not only the only UK supermarket to have their own dedicated pie counter but also got in the Pirate mood by dressing up today!

Ahoy! Arrrr the 1st of our social team be gettin’ into the spirit of #TalkLikeaPirateDay! pic.twitter.com/Y0fjbeIw5e
— Morrisons (@Morrisons) September 19, 2014

But as much as we love talking like Pirates on the web's leading pie review blog, what we REALLY love to do is talk like a Pierateer! And that means lots of talk about PIES!!!

So while we don't want to completely pie-jack International Talk Like a Pirate Day, we'd love to share a few pie pearls with you to get you talking! Take for example our 7 Cs we sail - the 7 criteria on which we rate all our pies. Or our pie pun dictionary, which includes some right pearls of punnage. Or even our pie treasure map, which shows you where the best independent pies can be found!

But most of all, we'd love you to find golden treasure of your own - pie treasure, to be more precise! So why not check out our Pie Rankings, which lists over 425 pies that we've rated on our 7 Cs to help you know where you can find the best treasure of all - a top rated pie! And to whet your appetite, check out our current Top 10 below:

Rank	Pie Producer	Pie Flavour	Score	By	Info
1	Paul's Pies	Steak and Guinness	6.73	TJP
2	King's Farm [HP22 6BH]	All Steak	6.7	SJL
3	Paul's Pies	Chicken and Mushroom	6.55	SJL
4	Piebury Corner [N7 8DL]	Venison and Red Wine [Thierry Henry]	6.5	RAS
4	Piebury Corner [N7 8DL]	Lamb and Veg with a hint of mint [Ian Wright]	6.5	RAS
4	JB Christie [ML6 6BU]	Minced Beef Scotch	6.5	SJL
7	The Real Pie Company	Pork, Bacon and Parsley	6.46	RAS
8	Jekyll and Hyde Pub [B4 6BJ]	Steak	6.45	RAS
9	The Pie Kitchen	Chicken, Chantenay Carrot and Bacon	6.43	SJL
10	Mr Kipling	Apple	6.42	RAS	V
10	Mr Kipling	Apple and Blackcurrant	6.42	RAS	V
10	Pieminister	Beef and Brandy [Kate and Wills]	6.42	TJP

RAS

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A Pie Party with homemade Pie Review

Coming soon – how to have your own PIErty! But for now, a little teaser of the homemade baking part of the full article to come:

Of course no pie party would be complete without some homemade pie baking going on! And while we may have got complimented for the pastry of our Crocodile Pie from none other than Michel Roux Jr, we’re certainly still firm believers that we (apart from the Ship’s Cook) are primarily pie raters, not pie makers! So we’ll leave making pies to the pros and get on with the important job – rating those pies!!!

And what’s even more awesome than asking a friend to make you a pie (or five) is arriving home after a long week at work and finding a pie tin (note: definitely not a cake tin with pies in) on your doorstep! Recently I had the pieleasure of rating Sophie’s Apple and Raspberry mini pies. Now of course you’ll immediately spot that one of them has a crumble lid, which we’ve already discussed at great length and determined does slightly detract from the score, so the following is a review of the fully encased pie, followed by an adjusted score for the crumble lid (even though it tasted just as good – but that doesn’t make it a proper pie!!!)


After heating in the oven for 15 minutes on 180 degrees, the pies were crisp and a nice colour. Not quite golden piefection but I didn’t want to over bake them and ruin the taste and filling. The home grown apple and raspberry content was on the whole very nice, though a fair bit of contrast between the sweetness and sourness of the fruits. There was definitely a bias towards the raspberry in my pies and I personally would have liked to have sampled just an apple pie, as I think the raspberry detracted slightly from the filling.

Being quite small pies, it is always hard to get the pastry:filling ratio quite right, but Sophie did a good job and the pastry was nice and firm, but a little flaky. No soggy bottoms in sight, the pastry was the highlight. A slight downside of the condition though was that the lid didn’t seamlessly merge into the side pastry, with a very clear lid/base distinction. Of course being home grown fruit, this is an ingenious way to score highly on the cheapness (unless you’re using Harrods flour or something!)

Overall, a great little pie, which would have rated higher if a bit more apple content and in a larger version, where the pastry:filling ratio would naturally have improved. Great job!

Sophie’s Homemade Apple and Raspberry Mini Pie
Score: 5.64/7
[Colour 5, Capacity 6, Consistency 5, Condition 5, Chewiness 6, Cheapness 7, Content 5.5, Total: 5.64/7]

Sophie’s Homemade Apple and Raspberry Mini Crumble Pie
Score: 4.93/7

RAS

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