Luton Town/Pukka Pies - Cheese & Onion Disaster Review

Sometimes it can take a while to be able to talk about a traumatic experience and the delay in providing this review is one of those occasions. In a bid to boost the number of clubs in our football pie league (the Pieremiership) I made the trek from my home in Gloucester over to Luton for the top of the table clash with Wycombe on a Tuesday night in February. Despite arriving in Luton quite early I delayed going into the stadium which is an absolute school boy error when it comes to pie reviewing. Getting in early you should get the best choice of pies and they are less likely to have dehydrated in the hot locker. The reason for my delay is that I am a minor public transport geek these days. Luton has a bus on rails (busway) which I wanted to see. (Yes, such a thing does exist!) I enjoyed my trip on the busway and I can't really explain why. I know that I am so far from cool that I am probably contributing to melting of the polar ice caps, but I don't care!

In this case my trip on the busway wasn't worth it. Although I was still about 15 minutes before kick-off the away end was packed. All the Wycombe tickets had sold out because this was a tasty top of the table clash. But the food wasn't tasty. In fact it didn't really taste of anything, the food kiosk having completely sold out of hot food. This was very worrying, especially as I had arrived hungry! They pointed me in the direction of the bar which might have more food. I desperately hoped they would have something, having come all this way, to go home pie-less would have been heartbreaking. My spirits lifted when I eventually got into the crowded bar and saw what looked like a pie in the hot locker. They told me it was cheese and onion, really not my favourite but I wasn't going to be fussy as it was apparently the last pie available in the whole ground and they weren't going to get any more (or any other hot food), even at half-time! This seemed like a bizarre situation to be missing out on much needed revenue. I wondered whether there was perhaps some food in the home end and away fans were being treated worse (again).





Anyway, back to the pie. To be fair they did warn me it wasn't in a great condition (which is why it was left til last). But what they hadn't warned me about was that it wasn't actually a pie! Absolute disaster! It took the form of something I would describe as a 'slice' as sold en masse by companies such as Ginsters. Unfortunately this was not the first time that I have ended up with a slice instead of a pie and I have developed a bit of a reputation on the Pierate Ship! In my defence this has mainly been down to lack of clear advertising, although I don't think this excuse will wash with the rest of the crew. If you are familiar with Pierate you will know that this doesn't meet our definition of a pie because it doesn't have a lid. Therefore we are unable to give it a score, which is perhaps a let off for Luton because this was one of the worst products I have had the misfortune to come across whilst sailing the 7 Cs.

But you might be wondering why this was so bad. Not only was this not a pie, it was also the most disgusting pastry product I have had the misfortune to eat at a football ground. Even worse than the ASDA smart price pie I was sold at Cheltenham. I like the occasional bit of puff pastry but this was so dry and flakey it disintegrated to nothing. Then there was the burnt bottom which was practically inedible. But this wasn't the worst bit about this pie. The filling was absolutely vile. I have to admit, I don't often go for a Cheese & Onion pie, but I have had some that I liked as long as the right cheese is used. But this one was just full of liquid cheese the type of which you might find in a burger. I tend to refer to this as 'plastic cheese' and I am not convinced it is actually made of cheese at all. That said, I am quite happy to eat a little bit on a burger, BUT NOT THE WHOLE CONTENT OF A PIE! Who ever thought this congealed mess of cheesiness was a good idea?  The soft onion provided some respite but was also a bit overpowering. There was nothing to get your teeth into at all with this pie. It felt like eating a soggy bag of cheese & onion crisps.

Overall, you might gather than I wasn't impressed. But rather than not enter Luton into our the Pierate Football Pie League (The Pieremiership) I have decided to enter them on zero points, given that they failed completely with their pie delivery. Not entering them feels like letting them off the hook. Hopefully this will act as a warning to others who might think about going to a match at Luton!

This slice was advertised as a Pukka. I didn't want to believe it but having reviewed photos it looks identical to what they have called a Cheese & Onion 'pasty'. Clearly it is not a pasty either, I really think Pukka need to work on their understanding of different pastry products, a shame when they are one of the biggest pie producers in the country!

SJL

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RAS may have tried a squirrel pie, SJL a crocodile pie, and myself a python pie, but there's always room for another exotic pie filling at the web's leading pie review blog. This time, however, have we taken it too far? Have we crossed the line? A tiger pie?

Image: flickr/Thomas S.

No, you'd be absolutely right. It's not real. ASDA certainly isn't selling a real tiger meat pie (although a restaurant in the US was actually selling genuine lion meat tacos for a while). In fact, this pie doesn't contain any meat at all; it's a vegetarian cheese and onion pie. And for that I'm thankful - even a pie-lover like me wouldn't want to eat a real tiger pie.


Out of the oven, you can see why ASDA labelled this a "tiger" pie. Similar to their "tiger bread", the crust of this pie is a striking orangey-brown. It certainly scores well for colour, I think.


Slicing open the pie, one can see that the pie is remarkably well filled for an ASDA pie (recent ASDA pies have been a bit of a let down in the filling department). The content does taste nice and creamy, and is rather delicious for a cheap filling. The pie obviously lacks quality - this pie did only cost about £1 after all - but for a bargain pie I think this product does offer great value.

I probably wouldn't buy it again though as I didn't find it particularly filling, plus I also felt the content was rather mushy and lacked any real substance (or gravy, for that matter). The pastry was crunchy, not at all chewy, and tasted nice - with a slight additional flavour to the glazed lid which was a nice twist. There's not much more I can say about it really, apart from this pie was flavoursome, creamy, and satisfactory.

ASDA Tiger Cheese and Onion Pie
Score: 4.7/7
TJP

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Morrisons Pie Counter - Pie Reviews

If you were following our exploits during British Pie Week you might have noticed that I ate Pie for every meal during the week. This was quite a challenge but fortunately I had some help. Morrisons were kind enough to provide a crate of 14 pies on Day Three of the challenge which certainly went some way to helping me decide what pies I should eat for the 21 meals!


I was pretty excited to get this stash of pies. It is well documented on Pierate that Morrisons is the only supermarket with a pie counter and hence we have a special affection for this supermarket chain, have a look at all the Morrisons pie reviews we have done. I will now attempt to review all of these pies in one post, assisted by the video diary I took throughout the challenge.

Have a look at the photo above and I think you will agree that seeing all these pie together is a beautiful sight. They all arrived in good Condition and the Colour of the pastry was varied, but all of them looked appealing. All of the savoury pies had a great Capacity being quite tall, whereas pies at this price tend to be quite shallow.

First up, for dinner on Day Three was a Steak & Ale, see the video below. This was in the standard oval shape that a number of pie counter pies come in. Sadly I would say this was a false start for Morrisons, I didn't find a whole lot of meat Content in the pie but what was there tasted nice and wasn't Chewy. The sauce was flavoursome. The pastry, was crumbly and flour-y as it was for a number of these pies. The pastry lid had some 'overhang' so it missed the optimum pastry to filling ratio. The second pie was better filled than the first so they are lacking in some Consistency. It was £1.70 for two individual pies which is a standard price for these pie counter pies. Considering that a premium pie costs £2 to £3 per pie in a supermarket this puts into perspective that these are not premium pies but 'everyday' pies and I consider this excellent Cheapness for two pies.





Steak & Ale (Morrisons Pie Counter)
4.30/7

Morrisons will be pleased to know that on Day Four I ate Morrisons pies for every meal. See the video below. I started with an Individual Apple pie for breakfast. These were slightly smaller and less tall than the savoury pies, but with a bulging lid they still had an excellent Capacity. The Content was packed with apple which was firm to the bite but not Chewy. The pie was not too sweet and overall fantastic value for just £1.10 for two. I can also confirm they are conistently good as I ate one again for breakfast on Day Five. A very impressive offering here from Morrisons. The only downside again was that there was a surplus pastry overhang, however, in this case the sweet pastry was lovely to eat by itself so this wasn't a problem.

For lunch I had a Cheese & Onion vegetarian pie.  It had a great Capacity although there was a huge air gap which lost it a lot of score. The Content wasn't overpoweringly onion-y or cheesy as I feared it might be, if anything it was too bland. The pastry was the same as with most of the savoury pies. I ate both these pies cold, perhaps heating them up might have helped.


For dinner I really enjoyed the Chunky Steak pie which was much better than the Steak & Ale. There was a lot of meat which was fairly tender. There was a good amount of thick meaty sauce. This was the highest calorie pie, perhaps why it tasted better. Well filled despite an air gap, there was a good pastry to filling ratio.


Individual Apple Pie (Morrisons Pie Counter)
5.65/7

Cheese & Onion (Morrisons Pie Counter)
3.70/7

Chunky Steak (Morrisons Pie Counter)
5.45/7

Day Five saw me desperately trying to review more of these pies before I stretched my relaxed attitude to 'best before' dates a bit too far. As mentioned already I had another apple pie for breakfast before a Steak & Kidney pie for lunch. I ate this cold but really enjoyed it. It was the same oval shape as the Steak & Ale, filled better but still with a sizable air gap. The cold pastry was not dry at all but lovely and crumbly. I could taste the kidney and found some small pieces but I was pleased that the Content did not taste too strongly of kidney. I think the balance of flavours here was just right for me. I ate the other pie hot at a later date and can confirm that they are Consistently good.


Steak & Kidney (Morrisons Pie Counter)
5.10/7

I was unable to eat the Family Apple Pie in British Pie Week because I was only trying to eat whole pies, not slices and it was just too big for me to eat in one go! However, I shared it with my family at a later date and it was again another superb apple pie from Morrisons Pie Counter. The box stated deep filled and it really was with a huge amount of apple content. Firm to the bite, it wasn't too Chewy or too sugary. The pastry had a wonderful sugary glaze meaning it had a superior Crunch and Colour when compared to the individual version. The gooey/crunchy pastry was consistently delicious across both pies. It was also very large for only £2.99, I had some left over when serving four people. It seemed quite similar to the Sainsbury's Taste the Difference premium apple pie but it cost a whole £1 less.

Slice of the Family Sized Apple Pie

Family Apple Pie (Morrisons Pie Counter)
6.05/7

Lastly was the hand-crimped pork pie which I have reviewed before. I can confirm it is still worth the 5.55 out of 7 I gave it last year.

In all I ate Morrisons pies for six meals in a row. What did I learn? That Morrisons Pie Counter pies are great value and I am still in love with the pie counter. I love how the flavours of the pies are printed on the edge of the pie and I love the crumbly pastry most of them have. It seems that many of the savoury pies have quite large air gaps but at this price they still provide a great value pie experience. At Pierate we are looking for pies that we think people should buy and at Morrisons pie counter the pies are cheap enough that the average person can afford to buy them regularly, these really are pies for the people.

Importantly I have also found that it is best to microwave these pies, given that they are already in a cooked state they simply need heating up and this stops them drying out. Or perhaps even forget heating them up at all. Now I realise that these pies work so well cold I think I will be eating them before I get home in the future!

SJL

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